


stiles and his journal and his loney heart

by givemesterekorgivemedeath



Series: Giant pack of beautiful Idiots [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek is a Failwolf, Lonely Stiles, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Stiles, Pack Mom Stiles, bad friend lydia, beaten up stiles, bruised stiles, even shittier jackson, scotty is an idiot, shitty alpha derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:52:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemesterekorgivemedeath/pseuds/givemesterekorgivemedeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is a rambler. He knows, the pack knows, his father knows, the entirety of beacon freakin’ hills knows. But the things he can’t say he writes in his journal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stiles and his journal and his loney heart

**Author's Note:**

> so ive been writing this one for a while guys. i thought it would be fun to play with the idea of stile having a journal and pressing flowers and such. all errors are mine. my beta tried so hard you guys.

Stiles is a rambler. He knows, the pack knows, his father knows, the entirety of beacon freakin’ hills knows. But the things he can’t say he writes in his journal. The one his mom left him when she died. He writes the things he knows he shouldn’t say. The things he can’t stay. Because honestly he’s alone. He doesn’t want to worry his dad with stupid shit because he has enough to worry about, his supposed best friend does nothing but complain about Allison not loving him, Erica, Boyd, and Isaac are always together (and by always he means always, he thinks they might be in some weird poly amorous relationship), and he has no one. Stiles is completely alone, so he does what he does best. He bottles it up until he can write it all down. He has his good days and his bad days. But even on his best day he wouldn’t tell Scott. Imagine if Scott found out I was the type of guy to press flowers and write in an antique journal while listening to[ the civil wars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW-VoFy49q0).

Stiles is having the worst fucking day though. And by the worst he means literally the worst day. Not as bad as when his mom died but still the shittiest  day since then. And he’s had to walk all the way home seeing as somehow he’s managed to get himself beaten to a bruised and slightly bloody pulp yet again [(again? Freaking again?!?! ) ](http://youtu.be/cZO9tMetxno)and he had to use his magic to get him out of the tightest of fixes. Yet…he couldn’t find his fucking jeep. 

Stiles lets himself into his home relieved that his father’s police cruiser isn’t there and walks himself into the kitchen. He pulls out his father’s already opened and half gone bottle of wild turkey, pours himself a shot and knocks it back. He closes his eyes as the warmth spreads through his chest and slowly makes its way  into his stomach.  He really needed that. And now he needs to go write in his journal, play some [ridiculously emotive indie music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpHy2KKm-QA), and cry  himself to sleep.

He makes his way up stairs after he puts away the wild turkey whiskey and shuffles to the bathroom just next door to his room. As he turns on the light  he gasps. His mouth is still bleeding, and his left eye is black and blue, there’s a gash just below his right jaw and rope burn on his arms. He has to close his eyes  and  focus on breathing because GODDAMNIT he will not cry. But he loses his battle and a chocked panicked sob leave his throat. He turns toward the bathroom  door to  find Erica, Boyd, and Isaac looking at him. Erica herself repressing a sob and Boyd and Isaac’s faces both painted with genuine concern.

 He’s not surprised. They tend to find him everywhere. Literally.

Erica wraps herself around stiles, who is sobbing openly now, and places his head against her chest. He cries until he can’t anymore.

“Shh, shh, shh, shh, baby I know. I’m here. It’s okay, I’m here. Derek went to go kick their asses…” she coos. 

 Stiles hurts. Not just physically, but emotionally. He’s a little broken. He clings to Erica like he’s afraid she’ll let go. but she doesn’t. and the four of  them ( Erica, boyd, stiles, Isaac) all make their way into stiles’ room and as soon as stiles is asleep they slip into the hall way where they meet Lydia, Jackson, derek, and scott. 

“How in the name of fuck did none of us know what he was doing? Have you seen his face? We need to protect him better.” Erica hisses angrily.

“I agree, he’s pretty torn up in there. He feels alone. He thinks he has no one. We’re supposed to be a pack, how could we have not known he felt like this?”  Isaac replied quietly with his eyebrows raised.

“mcall I have a real issue with you.” Boyd said deadly calm with an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest, 

“You treat him like he’ll always be there. Like he’s unbreakable. You leave him to his own devices. His magic drains him.  He can’t use it every time his life needs  saving. He should be able to count on us…he should be able to count on you. How dare you call him your best friend and then neglect him? How fucking dare you mcall? Out of all of us he’s the most  fragile. I don’t know if you’ve realized this yet, with your head so firmly planted in your ass, but he needs you. Fucking spend time with him and talk to him  about something other than your psycho hunter girlfriend. Maybe if you took stock in him you would notice the fucking scars on his arms…”

Derek’s head snaps up at that, his face shocked and caught off guard.

“scars?” derek asks looking from boyd to isaac to Erica, “What. Scars.” 

“the ones that pepper his arms like freckles” Isaac whispers with his head down and eyes shining, “this is the eighth time he’s just about been lost to us. You guys we have to be better friends to him. And you-” Isaac points to Jackson, “need to not be such an asshole to him. I swear to God, Jackson, the next time you so  much as think something that’s malicious toward him I’ll rip you to shreds faster than you can take a fucking breath.” He grits out harshly wiping the angry tears  from his face.

“And you...” Erica says to lydia with deadly calm, “leave him the  _fuck_  alone, if all you are going to do is criticize everything he does and lead him on. You leave  him the  _fuck alone_.”

And with that the group of them are left in a stark and devastating silence. Derek, Lydia, Scott, and Jackson are left in the hallway with their heads downcast as  Erica, Isaac, and Boyd turn from them with a collective look of disdain. And that is where they spend the night, too afraid to leave stiles, and too scared of what they others will do if they find that they are not needed. Because this is what you do when pack is hurt. You sit and wait for them to be better. You do what you can for them, even if you are exiled.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to comment and call me mean names and shit. on tumblr i'm dontpanicviolethill


End file.
